Fall is a time to...

Break out the fun fall clothes!

Catch a last glimpse of the flowers.

Lay in the leaves and look at the sky.

Do fun art projects at night!

Be with friends. 

Play in the leaves.

Have fun with my roommate.  

Watch the sunset

Thanks God :)

I love that God works in the big things and the little things.  He definitely showed me different big and little things this week, and I was so thankful!

THE BIG THINGS
1.  God completely protected me when I passed a gallstone in the middle of the night on Sunday.  I woke up around 1:30AM with extreme pain in my upper abdominal, and I tried to just ignore the pain.  That lasted all of two minutes.  I couldn't throw up or anything, so I eventually woke my roommate up just so that I could stop being quiet since she was sleeping.  I needed to scream and let out some shouts.  She woke up our suitemate (and RA), and they both suggested we go to the hospital.  I normally would deny any medical attention, but I was in so much pain that I did not care.  At the hospital, I waited around for such a long time, which was quite annoying.  They did blood work and an ultrasound, and they found out that it was a gallstone.  God was so caring in keeping me safe and getting me through the pain.

2. God gave me so much energy to study and get everything done.  I had a lot of work due and some tests to take since midterms are coming up next week, and God just powered me right through it.  I would go into each day not knowing how I was going to get everything done, but he completely blessed my time.  For the first time all semester, I actually enjoyed going to class, and I even felt prepared most days.  It was so encouraging.

3. Finances and stewardship of money are usually things that I struggle with, and this year I decided to get a new oboe.  I haven't gotten it yet, but this week was when I found out that it is going to be completely possible to get a new one, especially after selling both of the ones I have now.  God has really given me the drive and love for the oboe this year.  I finally enjoy practicing and making beautiful sounds.  It feels so good to just sit in a practice room and play.  Since I play a lot more and am taking my playing more seriously, it is time for an oboe upgrade.  God is making it happen!

The Little Things
1. The weather this week was so delightful.  We were in the 80s here! Ahh. I got to wear lots of skirts and dresses instead of my warm clothes.  It just made me smile.

2. I found a Hillsong song on my ipod that I didn't know I had.  It's called "Still," and it was such an encouragement to me.  Speaking of Hillsong, I also got a ticket this week to go see Hillsong with one of my best friends from high school.  I wish it was Hillsong United, but it'll still be good.

3. I got to spend time with some friends from HoneyRock this week. So great!

4. God is giving me a Friday night right now just to catch up on life and cleaning and homework.

5. Lots of laughter! :)

6. So. Much. More.

A Step Behind

Lately I have felt so behind in absolutely everything in life.  No matter what I do, I just cannot seem to catch up.  I'm behind in my school work for sure, which is just one of the worse feelings.  I hate going to class knowing that I'm unprepared, and that look from professors when they know you're not doing your best is just terrible.  Even the times that I work hard, the grades I get don't usually reflect my work.  I feel a step behind in the social world even.  It is already six weeks into the semester, and I know hardly anything about the freshmen on my floor or in the Conservatory.  I even feel like relationships from last year are suffering.  I feel behind in my physical life.  I have no energy ever to do anything, and I'm not treating my body the way I should.  Most importantly though, I feel so behind in my relationship with God.  I can't establish a regular quiet time, and I'm struggling so much to hear him ltely.  I feel so helpless right now, but that's because I am helpless.  God is the only one who can comfort me.

In high school I was always the go-getter, the one who controlled every group project and made sure every little thing was in order.  I always felt a step ahead in high school.  To go from that to where I am now is such a change.  I definitely loosened up in college, but I think I've become lazy in many ways.  Every part of me wants to just let God be enough and just walk in his foot steps, but I don't seem to care enough right now to actually take action.  I don't even care about small things in life anymore, like taking the time to change in my pajammas and go to bed.  I get back to my room after a long day, and I crash on the couch or on the floor (not particularly comfortable...)  before I even finish any homework.    

Thankfully though, God is so good that He can really prove his strength so much in this time of weakness.  I cannot help but look to 2 Corinthians 12:9, which says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. "  Being behind is a reminder of the fact that I am not in control of this life.  It isn't even my life to be in control of.  God simply wants me to bring  what I have to him, and he will take it and use it for good.  Every part of God is good.  That gets me every time.  Learning to let God's grace be sufficient is tough, but it is so true.  I need nothing else.

This summer, working at HoneyRock as a counselor, I finally learned what it means to let God love me and let the love transform me.  I got over my embarrassment of God knowing me fully and just let God's love be the only love that I gave out.  It was amazing, but the transition into letting God love me in the stress of college life has been hard.  It was much easier in the Northwoods of Wisconsin.  But God is God, and he is the same wherever he takes me.  Thank you Jesus for loving me despite of me.